Beautiful Disaster

Can You Really Love Someone?

Can you ever really and truly love a person, even through boughts of vomiting and diarrhea, through arguments and failed casseroles? It's easy to love a man when he buys you dinner, but can you love him when his breath smells in the morning, and can he adore you when you're out of tampons and too cramped up to buy more? Does love really exist or is it just a ploy fed to us by greeting card companies and wedding planners? What if marriage is this huge blunder that we've been following since the beginning of time when in reality we are all just a bunch of animals with primal reproductive urges? When you say you love a person, do you mean it, or is he just in the right place at the right time? Could another have made you feel equally as elated? I don't know where this lack of faith in love stems from. The marriage of my parents? The fact that I've never been in a serious relationship? The fact that I can't imagine myself ever being dependent on a man to pay my bills and tell me it's ok when I'm sad? Maybe I am too self sufficient for my own good. Maybe all my drive and determination to succeed in life and get a good job which will enable me to afford a nice house, car, food, and healthcare repels members of the opposite sex, or maybe I'm just a crazy bitch. Whatever the reason, I still feel that love is this hyped up glamourized fix-all to everyone's problems, that it's impossible to love someone for the rest of your life, because there will always be someone prettier than you, funnier than you, someone more compatable with you than the person you are with. That's a negative spin on love, but hey, if it wasn't true, people wouldn't cheat. I am aware that these thoughts showcase my glaring insecurities, but I feel I have a right to be doubtful. It's just as easy to get a divorce as it is to order a cheeseburger through a drive-thru. What's a girl supposed to think? Is she supposed to believe that there's one man out there, just waiting for her, and they'll run off into the sunset but once she pops out a couple of kids and gains a few pounds that he'll fuck his secretary while she cleans eggs off a frying pan? Are we in search of something we'll never find, or are we not looking hard enough?

posted by Bianca Alexi @ 2:00 PM